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| Board Game Night by Geoffrey Fairchild |
The idea of being the board is one that I struggled with(still kind of do) and it's a good thing the Zanders didn't stop with the initial description because there was no way I could take it at the first introduction. The idea of being the board seemed like giving up all personal control and relinquishing others of all responsibility. But as I continued to read it became more apparent that they meant that for us to each look at the situation honestly to discover our own part in the current events. Sometimes there are things that we can change that may have contributed to the unwelcome outcome and other times it's just acknowledging and accepting the risks that lead to that point. And since we have no real ability to control the thoughts or actions of others, it's our own that we have to assess, even if the other's involved never choose to do so. There's so much freedom with this approach.
As with other Zander ideas, Being the Board is kind'a the opposite of what one first assumes. Instead of giving up all control one is taking back a level of control that short-circuits the victim cycle by making one's healing not dependent on the other party(s) taking responsibility for their part. In that we are all responsible for our own part and cannot make someone else take responsibility we are better served by beginning the healing process looking for our own part and moving forward from there.
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